Your day is going just fine. Then you see that person. You know
who I'm talking about. The one who always manages to get under your
skin. And on this particular day they decide they want to really dig in
deep.
Something is said that can be taken in more than one way. You think you've just been insulted. So you comment back in a less than kind manner. Tensions mount and things start to get away.
Or sometimes we just come across a stranger that we seem to butt heads with almost immediately. And the scenario is not to much different than it is with the person you know who gets under your skin.
How can we avoid this?
There are a couple questions you can ask yourself that can make all the difference in the world as to how you interact with people who are less than agreeable. The first question is, "Where are they coming from?" I'm not talking physical location here. I'm talking about their background. What has happened in their life up to the point of your conflict that has made them act as they did?
I know you've heard it a hundred times, "Don't judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes." I would only partially agree with that statement. The more accurate version would be, "Don't judge someone until you've walked a lifetime in their shoes."
The second question you should be asking yourself is, "What part have I played in all of this?" I know, it's not your fault at all, right? When we disagree with others, we play a part, if for no other reason than the fact that we disagreed. So take a little time to reflect on your actions, and what you may have did or said to lend to the conflict.
Don't make excuses.
Try to recognize the part you and the other person have played that have gotten you to the point of contention. But don't make excuses for yourself, or them. Just because someone is having a bad day (or a bad life for that matter) it doesn't give them the right to take it out on you.
My goal here is to help you put things in perspective when you are having a disagreement with someone else. We are not talking about getting the other person to think like we do. We just want to neutralize our negative feelings so the other person does not negatively influence our day.
Remember, people act in ways that best suit their needs at the time. If you keep this idea in the forefront of your mind you may find your dealings with others to go much better.
Something is said that can be taken in more than one way. You think you've just been insulted. So you comment back in a less than kind manner. Tensions mount and things start to get away.
Or sometimes we just come across a stranger that we seem to butt heads with almost immediately. And the scenario is not to much different than it is with the person you know who gets under your skin.
How can we avoid this?
There are a couple questions you can ask yourself that can make all the difference in the world as to how you interact with people who are less than agreeable. The first question is, "Where are they coming from?" I'm not talking physical location here. I'm talking about their background. What has happened in their life up to the point of your conflict that has made them act as they did?
I know you've heard it a hundred times, "Don't judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes." I would only partially agree with that statement. The more accurate version would be, "Don't judge someone until you've walked a lifetime in their shoes."
The second question you should be asking yourself is, "What part have I played in all of this?" I know, it's not your fault at all, right? When we disagree with others, we play a part, if for no other reason than the fact that we disagreed. So take a little time to reflect on your actions, and what you may have did or said to lend to the conflict.
Don't make excuses.
Try to recognize the part you and the other person have played that have gotten you to the point of contention. But don't make excuses for yourself, or them. Just because someone is having a bad day (or a bad life for that matter) it doesn't give them the right to take it out on you.
My goal here is to help you put things in perspective when you are having a disagreement with someone else. We are not talking about getting the other person to think like we do. We just want to neutralize our negative feelings so the other person does not negatively influence our day.
Remember, people act in ways that best suit their needs at the time. If you keep this idea in the forefront of your mind you may find your dealings with others to go much better.
If you would like to find out more about what Martial Arts can do
for you or your family, and you live in the Green Bay, WI area, go to http://www.KarateAmerica.org/. Or you can give us a call at 920-983-7477.
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